InsaneJournal

Current mood:

accomplished

Constrained Desire, Ch.2
Title: Something Funny
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairings: none yet, but the series is leading up to 38 (Sanzo x Hakkai) and will also have some 85 (Hakkai x Gojyo) before and after it. *Also this chapter mentions hints of Shuei x Sanzo.
Summary: After Sanzo gets back from killing Rikudo he takes a long nap, and then talks with Hakkai about what the person Shuei was before being possessed by the talisman. Hakkai finds something funny, and has a good laugh. Then the have a short talk once they get to the next town.
Rating: Meh... I suck at ratings so, PG or PG 13... I dunno.
Notes: While I try to stick to the manga's version of events as much as possible I also use the anime for reference and occasionally re-word sentences when structure is confusing, the wording doesn't make sense, or when it suits my purpose. So there. :P
All comments and critiques are welcomed and cherished. <3

Hours later they picked Sanzo up, and without so much as a word about what happened to Shuei, he tossed his gun into the back seat and laid down to nap while Hakkai kept driving westward. After another couple of hours driving across the wilderness the other two passed out as well. Hakkai was just starting to enjoy the peaceful ride when he heard Sanzo start to stir. After several moments worth of shifting around uncomfortably, the bleary-eyed monk finally sat up and pulled out a cigarette. “Did you enjoy your nap?” Hakkai asked. Sanzo was too drowsy to form an answer, so he simply let a weary moan out of his mouth before lighting up. “You were out for a couple hours.” Hakkai continued. “How are you feeling?”

“I'm fine.” Sanzo replied in a grouchy, don't-ask-me-anymore-questions, tone of voice.

“You know... we were really worried about you, especially Goku.”

“Tch... since when did it become everybody else's business?”

“I hate to be a bother, but...” Hakkai started off using his usual falsely pleasant tone, but then his voice lowered in a manner that indicated that he was quite serious, “it became our business when you decided to take us along with you on this journey, Sanzo.”

“Whatever.” he replied, still too drowsy to argue. He was more intent on taking a drag from his cigarette than on listening to Hakkai's lectures.

Hakkai sighed and went back to his driving. Truth be told, there was a lot more he had to say, but he could tell that this was a bad time. He wasn't about to push his luck. Still, there were so many things on his mind, the state of Sanzo's health first and foremost. Although, he wasn't certain whether he ought to be more concerned about the monk's mental or physical well-being. Considering the fact that Sanzo had returned to them in fair condition, he could assume that Rikudo was no longer a threat to anyone. He was curious to know what had happened in the woods, but knew that asking about it would only serve to annoy his companion.

A part of him also wondered about the relationship that Sanzo once had with the monk named Shuei. After all the speculation that had been going on while he was away, it would be good to have a more definitive answer to all the questions floating around in his head. This was also something that he knew would have to wait until Sanzo was in a better mood. That is, if he really wanted any answers at all. He really didn't mean to chastise Sanzo for running off the way he did, he knew that the experience Sanzo had to go through was probably difficult enough. However, he also wanted Sanzo to know that it wasn't okay to just go running off like that.

Sanzo sat there quietly smoking his cigarette and trying to get the drowsiness out of his head. Part of him wanted to go back to sleep, but he didn't want to be asleep all day. He had plenty of rest for the time being, and he knew he'd get more later. So he gazed absently at the landscape, noticing how the things that were close to them flashed by so rapidly while the horizon was so far in the distance that it didn't seem to be affected. Like the immovable outline of the horizon, he was still alive and on his journey to the west. Like the many patches of grass and brush passing by the jeep, Shuei had already come and gone from this world. Of all the thoughts that occupied Sanzo's mind, the most prominent one was: What a waste.

Looking back on the past, the way he remembered Shuei was so different. He was a respectable man at one point. Perhaps not strong, not nearly as strong as Sanzo's younger self might have supposed back then. However, he was extremely talented, and more sensible than any of the monks who stayed at the temple. You could say that he was a man who had potential, and it was a shame to see that potential go to waste. Part of Sanzo felt angry and bitter that Shuei had been weak enough to allow the talisman to take control of him, but in reality, he was disappointed. The anger and bitterness he had felt only stemmed from this disappointment and frustration.

How could Shuei allow this to happen? He wondered, thinking back to something he had said back in the forest: My mistake for thinking you were able to take care of yourself. At that moment, he had wanted nothing more than to take this talisman-possessed creature out for being weak enough to succumb to the talisman's power. It was only when the beads broke and that the last traces of Shuei were fading that he realized how tragic the whole situation was. The sound of his old name on the dying man's lips confirmed what he already knew to be true. When he aimed his gun at the monster's forehead and pulled the trigger, he knew that his friend Shuei was finally free. The thanks that came from his last dying breath was proof enough of that.

Still, Sanzo couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with the whole situation. With Shuei gone, he felt as thought he'd lost a bit of his past, not that he was terribly intent on keeping it around anyway. He sighed deeply, breathing in a bit of clean air as his current cigarette burned down to the filter. He had been chain smoking ever since he woke up. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there thinking, but the pack was definitely a lot less crowded. He hoped that Hakkai didn't notice, since he wasn't in the mood for another lecture. He wasn't really done yet either, so he put the cigarette out and drew another one from the pack. “Both of those two idiots are asleep, huh? This is so boring.”

“I thought that you weren't in the mood to talk.” Hakkai replied.

“I wasn't.” Sanzo explained, fishing the lighter out of his robes and using it to light his smoke. “Well, it's not like there's a newspaper to read here or anything.”

“That's very true.” Hakkai said, with a bit of a chuckle. It was funny how Sanzo couldn't even admit that he wanted to have a conversation with him without making it sound like some kind of complaint instead. “Well, I'm going to take that comment as meaning that your health is improving. That really was my biggest concern.”

“You don't say.” Sanzo said, the emotionless tone in his voice clearly portraying his annoyance with everyone's concern over his health.

Hakkai's voice turned from cheerfully apologetic to a tone that was more somber and concerned. “So, I take it that... Rikudo the talisman-user isn't something that anyone around here will have to worry about anymore.”

“You could say that.”

“If you don't mind me asking, Sanzo...” Hakkai trailed off, wondering if it really was okay to mention something like this.

“What?” Sanzo asked, annoyed with the dramatic pause.

“What was he to you?” Hakkai wondered out loud. He could tell that Sanzo was perturbed by the whole event. From the moment the talisman-user had shown up until now. He could only guess at what Sanzo was currently feeling, but judging by his eager consumption of tobacco, it wasn't anything good.

Sanzo was quiet for a long time, not knowing what to say, not certain he even wanted to talk about it in the first place. If it were anyone but Hakkai, he probably would've told them it was none of their business. In fact, he had half a mind to say so now, but he decided that after all that he'd put Hakkai through the last few days, the least he could do was humor him this once.

“Well, I guess it doesn't really matter now.” He began. In the grand scheme of things, it really didn't. It wasn't worth making a big fuss over. “Shuei was a master at the Kinzan temple where Koumyou Sanzo and I stayed. He was known for his skill with talismans, and he was also a more reasonable person than the monks who stayed there.”

“These monks were unreasonable?” Hakkai asked.

“To be more accurate, they were jealous. They were all envious of the thirteen-year-old boy who was beating them in all of our daily exercises. They were always saying things behind my back. Shuei was the only one sensible enough to see through their petty jealousy... aside from Master Sanzo. Whenever Shuei caught them saying those things, he would make them shut up and go clean the grounds. I guess his level-headed attitude was the reason I considered him a friend, even though his altruism seemed... a bit excessive at times.”

“I see. So, he stood up for you when others tried to put you down?”

“He didn't just stand up for me, he believed in me... I guess you could say that he even admired me a little. Although I didn't really understand why. Come to think of it, he was always looking at me with this strange expression on his face, like he wanted something from me. That's why I gave him the beads. I thought that maybe if I gave him something like that, he wouldn't feel like he needed to compliment me so much anymore. I wasn't sure what he really wanted.”

“Oh, really? What do you think he...?” Hakkai trailed off when he saw Sanzo's expression change, a shocked gasp came gurgling out of his throat. “Sanzo, is something wrong?”

“I was just remembering...” Sanzo began, stalling in order to find the right words to express the memory that had just brought him to a startling realization. “There was one night when I was sitting in my room by the window and Shuei came in to say that Master Sanzo wanted to see me. It was a full moon outside, and he said something about my hair and my eyes that sounded...”

“Yes?”

“It almost sounded like... he was attracted to me.”

“Oh, my... sexual harassment!”

“Shut up, Hakkai.” Sanzo said, then he groaned in frustration and took another hit of his cigarette. “It's not like I was really aware of something like that back then.”

“I should say.” Hakkai agreed. “After all, you're barely aware of that sort of thing now.”

“Tch... I'm aware enough to shoot at anybody who tries it.”

“Is that why you shoot at Gojyo so much?”

“What?” Sanzo asked, surprised by the abrupt bluntness of the comment. He was embarrassed, and that also made him angry. “Hakkai... you piss me off.”

Hakkai was having a good chuckle, so good that he was barely able to keep his grip on the steering wheel. “You know... yesterday Gojyo was trying to convince me that you were attracted to men! Ha ha ha ha!”

“He would say something like that.” Sanzo replied in his annoyed tone of voice. “He wants me to be gay so that he can get into my pants.”

“That's... so....” Thinking about the whole situation, how Sanzo was too embarrassed to even admit that anyone else was interested in him. To even so much as think that Sanzo would be interested in anyone else was hilarious. Hakkai couldn't help but collapse into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. “Ha ha ha, HA HA HA!”

“YOU WANNA WATCH THE ROAD, HAKKAI!?” Sanzo yelled. They were swerving around everywhere, if Hakkai didn't regain control of himself he was sure they were going to crash into something. Luckily, Hakkai slammed on the breaks, so they came to a short, screeching stop.

Sanzo was almost thrown clear out of the jeep, but Hakkai was still rolling with laughter. “HA HA HA HAHAHA!”

“Stop it! Hakkai... get ahold of yourself! YOU'LL WAKE THE IDIOTS!!!”

“Ah, what's all the ruckus about?” Gojyo asked, yawning and stretching as he sat up.

“Damn it.” Sanzo cursed.

“MWAHAHAHAHA!” Hakkai continued laughing. His body was shaking so hard that his sides were starting to get sore.

“Hey... what's so funny, Hakkai?” Gojyo demanded.

Hakkai momentarily paused his laughing fit to give him an aswer. “Actually- HA HA!- I'm laughing at you, Gojyo. Ha-ha HAHAHAH!!”

“What? What'd I do that was funny? Did I say something in my sleep?”

“Oh yeah...” Sanzo answered, seeing an opportunity to pick on Gojyo. “You were talking about all the things you do in your bed with the pretty ladies.”

“Wha-!?” Gojyo's jaw dropped. Then Sanzo started snickering and he realized that it was a prank. “Hey! That's not funny, damn it!”

Seeing Gojyo so angry made Sanzo burst into full-blown laughter right along with his buddy in the front seat.

“Ha-ha HA HA! He got you really good, Gojyo!” Hakkai cut in.

“Wha- d-damn it!” Gojyo said, standing there speechless for a moment while they both laughed at him.

“HA HA HAHA- AAAHH!” Sanzo cried, feeling a sharp pain in his side. His laughter had re-opened the wound and blood was starting to soak into his robes. Hearing him cry out in pain shocked Hakkai out of his laughing fit.

“Sanzo... are you alright?” He pulled himself up to look at the wound. Finding blood all over Sanzo's clothes, he quickly moved his hand over to start healing it. “You really should be more careful.”

“WHY WON'T SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?” Gojyo angrily demanded, standing up in the back.

“Meat buns.” Goku said, grabbing for something in his sleep.

“Not you, ya little monkey!” Gojyo said, stomping on the annoying youngster's head. “I was talking... to those two laughing hyenas in the front!”

“Ow! Ouch! Hey!” Goku said, getting up and rubbing his head. “What was that for?”

“For being yourself, ya little-”

While Gojyo was busy yelling at him, Goku looked down into the front seat. “Hey! What happened to Sanzo?!”

“Oh, it's nothing serious.” Hakkai explained. “He just re-opened his wound from the other day by laughing too hard. I'm sure he'll be alright.”

“Laughing? What was he laughing about?”

“Actually the both of us were laughing at Gojyo.”

“Ya better tell me what the hell was so damn funny!” Gojyo interrupted.

“If you really insist on knowing, then I'll tell you later, Gojyo.” Hakkai said, finally taking his hands off of Sanzo's body since he'd stopped the bleeding. He paused for a moment to look over at Goku. “This really isn't something that's appropriate for everyone else to hear.”

“Oh, right... gotcha.” Gojyo agreed, sitting back down in his spot. Sanzo was quietly smoking a cigarette at this point and Hakkai straightened out in the driver's seat and started the jeep again.

“Hey, Hakkai... what's that supposed to mean?” Goku asked.

“It means that it's none of your business, you little monkey!” Gojyo said, shoving his open palm over the top of Goku's head.

“Hey, knock that off you filthy water sprite!”

“I'll give you something to knock on you little moron!”

“Eat my fist, you jerk!”

“SHUT UP!” Sanzo yelled, blasting a bullet into the air. The two quieted down and he shoved his gun back into his robe. “Fuck this, I'm going back to sleep.”

They drove on for hours while Sanzo slept. Gojyo and Goku had a few more scuffles in the back, but luckily for them, nothing seemed capable of waking Sanzo from the deep sleep he'd fallen into. It's just as well, Hakkai thought, he really needs to get plenty of rest so that wound can finally heal. He felt a little bit guilty for starting that laughing fit earlier. It was bad enough that Sanzo had gone off to fight Rikudo alone, he didn't need this kind of careless behavior from his friends. Once they got to the next town, which wasn't much farther, he planned to stay there for a few days so that Sanzo could fully recover. Although he knew that Sanzo probably would not consent to the delay in their journey so readily, there was no sense in continuing to aggravate his wound either.

Hours later they finally arrived at the town and reserved a few rooms at the inn. After that they had a nice big meal at the nearest restaurant. Goku stuffed himself so full that he decided to turn in early. Gojyo was busy gambling at the bar, and although Hakkai and Sanzo enjoyed a good game of cards as much as anyone, they didn't feel comfortable with the company he kept. He was always playing with some low-life or another while two or three girls hovered over him. Not really the kind of action either of those two were interested in, so they stayed at their table at the restaurant a bit longer. Sanzo hadn't talked much through the whole meal, he'd been too busy eating. In fact, Hakkai had never known him to have such an appetite. It was probably just because his wound was still healing and all he'd had to eat that day was a few meat buns.

After he was done, he didn't seem very tired. He simply sat at the table smoking and reading a newspaper he'd picked up while sipping on some tea. It was sort of boring for Hakkai, there wasn't much happening besides the occasional waitress checking in to refill his glass of water. Still, he really didn't mind moments like this. It wasn't often that either of them got a break from both Gojyo and Goku at the same time, at least, not until they went to their rooms. Besides, Hakkai couldn't think of any better place to be. He wasn't about to sit and watch Gojyo flirt with women, and in spite of the long drive, he wasn't really tired enough to turn in yet. “Sanzo... aren't you getting tired?” he asked.

“No.” Sanzo said, setting down his newspaper. “I slept too long today, now I can't seem to relax.”

“Well, give it a few more hours and I'm sure you'll be tired again. After all, you really ought to get some sleep tonight.”

“Hmpf.” Sanzo said, burying his face back in his paper. He hated to be told what to do, even if he did agree with the suggestion. He wanted his wound to heal as soon as possible, he couldn't stand having it bleed every time he wanted to do anything. So he tried to read his newspaper for a few minutes, but he couldn't seem to focus on the words. “Hey, Hakkai.”

“Yes?”

“Was it really that funny?”

“What?”

“You know, the thing about me and Shuei.”

“Oh, that.” Hakkai said. “I guess it was a little.” He chuckled to himself for a few seconds before noticing the sour look on Sanzo's face. “But, really... what Gojyo said was much funnier. He really thought you were gay. Can you imagine?” He went on to chuckle some more.

“I guess it is kinda funny.” Sanzo said, they looked into each other's eyes and then they both started chuckling. “Still...” he trailed off. He wasn't really sure what he wanted to say, but something was still bothering him. As though his question had somehow gone unanswered.

“Yes?” Hakkai prompted, wondering what could be bothering him so much.

“Do I really seem like I'm naïve?”

“I'm not sure what you mean.”

“You said that I'm not aware of that sort of thing. Hakkai... do you think that I'm naïve?”

“Oh. No, that wasn't really what I meant. I don't think that it's something that you don't understand. I guess that what I was trying to say was... it's not something you think about very often, is it?”

“True.” Sanzo agreed. It was really something he tried to avoid at all costs.

“Anytime someone hits on you, their advances are either ignored or punished by your gun.” Hakkai continued. “So it seems to me that the very idea of being in a relationship is troublesome to you.”

“That is also true.” Sanzo agreed.

“That's why I found what Gojyo said to be so funny. He was implying that you were interested in men, as if you'd ever be able to make a move on anyone.” They both started giggling at the thought.

“Gojyo must really have his head up his ass to think that I'd hit on someone.” Sanzo said, laughing in spite of himself.

“You should be careful not to laugh too hard.” Hakkai said, taking a serious tone to get Sanzo's attention.

“Yeah, yeah... I'm fine.” He swatted the concern away. He already knew that he had to be careful.

“Perhaps if you'd stayed in bed, it would've healed better.” Hakkai suggested.

“Maybe I should try to go to bed.” Sanzo agreed. He still didn't feel tired, but laying down for a bit might change that.

“Alright, I'll ask the waitress for the check.” Hakkai said.