InsaneJournal

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Constrained Desire, Ch 6.
Title: Sin
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairings: some 85 (Hakkai x Gojyo) but the series is leading up to, and mainly centering on 38 (Sanzo x Hakkai).
Summary: Sanzo gets Hakkai to look at the wound on his belly. They leave the next morning and run into Chin Yiso in the next town. After defeating his monsters they leave town again, only to be attacked by a dool in the woods. After Gojyo is shot, Hakkai passes out, and Goku wanders off into the forest, Sanzo has to find a way to get the remaining party members to shelter.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: While I try to stick to the manga's version of events as much as possible I also use the anime for reference and occasionally re-word sentences when structure is confusing, the wording doesn't make sense, or when it suits my purpose. So there. :P

All comments and critiques are welcomed and cherished. <3

The next day rolled around, and life went on as usual. They all gathered together to eat breakfast and then Hakkai took Gojyo and Goku out to the market again. This time, to actually get supplies. Although Hakkai had planned on sticking around the town for one more day he wasn't in the mood to argue the point with Sanzo, and he didn't want them all to be left without as a consequence of his behavior. He also hoped that no one noticed that he wasn't all too pleased with himself. Hiding it from Goku and even Gojyo was easy enough, but he felt as though he could never escape the penetrating gaze of Sanzo's deep violet eyes.

The trip to the market was a pleasant respite, although he did end up having to explain to Gojyo that he was quite through with trying to get Sanzo to do anything. Other than that the day was pretty uneventful. They managed to get back with enough supplies for several days, and even in spite of that Sanzo seemed content to stay at the inn for one more night. Hakkai thought it odd for someone who was usually so intent to keep going on their journey. He didn't find out why until they were all about to go to bed. On the way up to their beds, Sanzo called him aside and lead him into his room.

Hakkai stood idly by a chair, lost in thought. He assumed that Sanzo wanted to speak to him about something, and after their conversation last night, he wasn't in the mood. He didn't want to confront his shortcomings again. In fact, he didn't even want to discuss them at all. Meanwhile, Sanzo took off his robe. Hakkai thought nothing of it, assuming the monk was simply getting comfortable. Then Sanzo laid down on his bed, un-tucked the black undershirt from his pants, and pulled it up until just a little past his ribs. “Well, what do you think?” he asked.

“Um...” Hakkai stood there feeling completely confounded for a moment before his eyes rested on the wound on his belly that he'd been given a couple days ago. “Oh! Of course....” He walked over to the bed and bent down to get a good look at it, gently dragging his fingers over the raw flesh. “Actually, it seems to be healing quite nicely now.” Hakkai said, genuinely pleased that Sanzo had been taking care of himself for once instead of relying on him for everything. “If nothing else happens to aggravate the wound, then the resulting scar will be hardly noticeable.”

“Do you think I'll be able to move around now without opening it back up?”

“You should be fine for most normal activity, as long as no one makes a direct hit on this area.”

“Good, because I'm sick and tired of this place.”

“It is getting pretty tiring, isn't it?” Hakkai agreed. Truth be told, he was about as sick of the place as Sanzo seemed to be. It would be really good to get back on the road again the next morning. “Well, if that's all you wanted, then...”

“Hakkai....” Sanzo said, making sure he had the other man's attention before he continued. “You know, if it weren't for you-” He paused, not really feeling the need to finish the sentence. Then he pulled the shirt back down over his belly. They both already knew what could've happened if Hakkai hadn't been there that day to close his wound. He'd never even said a word of thanks for it, and even though he wasn't about to start now it seemed like a good time to say something.

Sanzo... Hakkai made a soft sound, exhaling the air in his lungs. What are you trying to say? It was hard to tell with Sanzo at times. Are you trying to thank me for what I've done, give me some reason to be proud of myself, or... are you just trying to make me see that my life is worth something?

“So, it's almost like we're even.” Sanzo added. Now quit acting like you owe me something.

“Not really.” Hakkai replied. “It wasn't as though I didn't have any help. Besides... even if I had saved your life single-handedly.... You have saved so much more than my life, Sanzo.” You came after me, and you wouldn't let me die. In addition to this: It was your words and your calm, assuring presence that brought me up out of the darkness and into your golden light. As if all of those things were not enough, you argued my case before the gods as well, and kept me out of prison. You gave me so much more than my life, you gave me my soul and my freedom too. “You gave me a reason to live.”

“Tch...” Sanzo said, with an aggravated expression on his face. I don't want to be anyone's reason to live. He lit a cigarette and took a few hits to lessen his frustration.

“You are displeased...” Hakkai noted, partially upset at himself for being so honest. “but, I have to admit that I didn't expect any different from you.”

“What makes you think you need a reason to live?” Sanzo asked, angrily. “I don't have a reason.” The statement got Hakkai's attention. “I only live for myself.”

“Yes. I understand that, but...” Hakkai trailed off. His voice sounded almost broken and he was clearly feeling guilty again. “I'm just... not quite there yet myself. I'm sorry.” I really do try, Sanzo. Can't you see that I'm trying? “Good night.” Hakkai said, leaving the room and quietly shutting the door behind him. As soon as it was firmly closed he leaned back into it and let out a relieved sigh. I guess I really am a stubborn and disobedient disciple. He thought. Well, I'm glad that's over.

The next morning they packed up and left. It took a day and a half before they got to the next one, so they had to camp out under the stars for one night. After that they entered a town full of people. It was so unlike many of the places they had been before, bustling with activity and laughter, and full of shops and food, which was all Goku cared about. They were walking through the center of town when they were pulled aside by a creepy-looking fortune teller.

“Excuse me! You, young men passing by...” he called in a cold, subtle tone. “I presume you are travelers. I, Chin Yiso, will tell you your fortune of travels ahead.”

“HA! We're not interested in that damn fortune telling stuff!” Gojyo replied.

“Besides, a business that uses mah-jhong tiles doesn't carry a high degree of trust.” Sanzo agreed.

“Aw... how cold!” the man cried, in a mockingly disappointed tone. “Oh well, I'll tell you anyway. A seal of death is appearing, everyone... how scary.” he said with an insidious laugh. “You guys are living at a place near death! I can tell! Yes, especially... YOU!” he cried, pointing to Hakkai. Shocked by the unexpected accusation, Hakkai froze where he stood. “You're trying to camouflage your true form with that hypocrite mask of yours, but you have the eyes of a criminal! You have a scar on your stomach, right? That's the sign of your sin! A sin too high in degree to be atoned for!”

How does he know? Hakkai thought. It was bone-chillingly accurate, and unexpectedly bizarre, to have all of his past faults thrown at him at the drop of a hat. How could this man see through his facade, or know about his scar? Instantly he felt naked, vulnerable. This person was sitting there pointing the finger and blaming him for his sins... as though he needed anyone else to remind him of what he already knew so well. He barely even noticed when Goku got up and yelled in the guy's face, but then that insidiously cunning voice began to ramble on again.

“My tiles speak of one's destiny... see.... 'Thou people draw calamity'!” He read from one of them. Hakkai's eyes were wide with horror, while the others stood by with shocked expressions on their faces. Except for Sanzo, who was standing there wondering what the hell the bastard was up to. “Well, it's your choice whether to believe it or not.”

“What do you....!?” Goku said, but they were interrupted by a huge crash in the distance when a gigantic crab-like monster appeared and started wreaking havoc in the town. Hakkai looked back over at the fortune-teller's booth, only to find it empty. He's gone...who can that man be? While Gojyo and Sanzo's voices rambled behind him he could hear the strange man's words being played over in his head. ...the eyes of a criminal...sins too high in degree to be atoned for! Those words, just like the thoughts that daily played out in his mind. All of his worst fears, brought to life. Some part of him still felt, he would never be able to atone for the sins of his past.

They all had to snap out of their thoughts because the monster was tearing down buildings and killing the townspeople. Gojyo took the first shot at it, but his weapon didn't even scratch the dark monster's impenetrable shell. “Being so big, black, and hard... that's one fine object you got there, mister!” Gojyo replied, flipping the thing off.

“...I can't believe you can spit out a dirty joke at a time like this.” Sanzo said. They were about to go after thing thing again, but a little yokai girl appeared out of the shadows and punched the creature right on it's chest, completely shattering it. They quickly learned that she was Kougaiji's little sister, Lirin, and she had actually come to attack them. She threw a punch at Gojyo, but missed and pulverized the ground instead. Then Sanzo simply grabbed her by the back of her shirt. After feeding the struggling girl a meat bun the rest of Kougaiji's group came to claim her. Sanzo willingly dropped her on the ground, and of course Goku couldn't let them leave without challenging them to a fight, so they all squared off for battle.

Standing over the fight, the fortune teller looked down on the action with a twisted smile. “My, my.... Doesn't it look fun? But if it's going to be a party, you have to be more wild. “ He said, his voice turning sour and vindictive. “Allow me to help you... Cho Gonou.” Then he tore off an earring and threw it to the ground. “With love.”

Sanzo was the first one to hear the rocks crumbling behind him. He looked back and there arose a monster, bigger and more powerful than the one before. It attached, interfering with their battle and forcing them to call a temporary truce with Kougaiji's gang.

“Shikigami... that enormous?” Yaone asked.

“Then I presume, that thing wasn't sent by your group?” Hakkai said.

“If that's the case, who was that weird fortune-teller?” Sanzo asked. “What's that bastard's purpose?”

Chin Yiso... Hakkai thought. His mystifying attitude, the ice-like threatening look... That person had known entirely too much about him, he could only assume that it was someone who knew about his past. But somehow, he just couldn't remember where he'd seen that face. The monster kept attacking, so Goku was forced to distract the thing while Kougaiji summoned a fiend. The shikigami finally went down in flames and burned to ash. Then Kougaiji's group left, and Sanzo decided that they're better leave as well. As they walked out of the town, something on the ground caught Hakkai's gaze. It looked like a piece of the shikigami with a yin yang symbol on it.

There's something inside! Hakkai thought. When he picked it up, it crumbled to dust and the only thing left was a mah-jhong tile imprinted with the character for “sin”. “GA!” Hakkai cried. The sight of it was so startling that he almost choked. The memory of that fortune-teller and all of his accusations, the thoughts of the sins from his past, were just too much to bear. “KA-HA! GO-HO!”

“HAKKAI?” Gojyo said, running over to see what was wrong.

“I'm ok.” Hakkai replied, even knowing that they wouldn't buy it. “It's... nothing.” Those eyes... he thought, I've seen them somewhere... WHO IS HE?

They left the ruined town as quickly as possible, driving all that day until the sun went down and they had to stop and camp in the jeep for the night. Even after hours of behind the wheel, Hakkai was still tense and disturbed. Sanzo and Gojyo could probably see it in his face, but for the moment they were gracious enough not to bring it up. That night when he fell asleep, his troubled mind produced a dream.

His unconscious thoughts dwelled on Kanan. He could remember how wonderful it was making love to her, and how he had wished that they could've been one like that forever. He could also remember how she had once said that his hands were beautiful. It was such a silly little comment, but he knew back then that he would've been able to do anything for her. He would've been able to become anything, as long as she was in his life. Then there was their last meeting, when he'd found her huddled in that cell and said: “Let's run away Kanan! I'll protect you.”

“It's no use Gonou.” she replied, then her beautiful form turned into a hideously decaying corpse and said: “Your hands are blood-stained!”

Hakkai's eyes snapped open in shock. He was sitting in the jeep, breaking out in a cold sweat. “A dream...” he said. How many times has it been? He wondered. Inside my dream, I... repeatedly lose you.

“Something wrong?” Sanzo asked.

“Sanzo...” Hakkai said, embarrassed that he'd woken his companion up. “It's nothing, I just couldn't sleep. Ha ha ha.” The nervous laughter, a subtle indication that he didn't want to explain himself. “I'm going out for a walk.”

“Be careful.” Sanzo cautioned. He understood Hakkai's reasons, but he was still worried.

“Yes.” Hakkai promised.

Gojyo opened and eye and watched him walk away. Maybe the monk'll let you get off that easy, Hakkai, but not me. He wasn't certain about what was going on, but he knew that he didn't want Hakkai walking around in the forest alone. Not this late at night, not after the day he'd had. So he waited until Sanzo dozed off, and then got out of the jeep. He followed after Hakkai, out into the trees. When he finally caught sight of the moody brunet he was standing around looking down at his hands, the way he sometimes did. Gojyo knew he had to break him out of it somehow.

“I was... only pretending to have forgotten about it.” Hakkai said, once he'd gotten far enough from the jeep. The scar on his belly had started to ache again from the moment he met that man. He was probably someone who held a grudge from that time, but Hakkai didn't understand the purpose behind his circuitous approach. “Chin Yiso.” He still had the mah-jhong tile from earlier, he looked down at the thing and then squeezed it in his hand. “The promise I couldn't fulfill. The one love that I couldn't save. The unforgivable number of lives I've taken away.”

He could still hear her voice in his memory, saying: “I really like your hands, Gonou.”

I cannot embrace anyone anymore... with these sinful hands. He thought.

“Your life line's fuckin' short...”

Hakkai jumped at the sound of someone else's voice, and turned around to find Gojyo there. “...you scared me!”

“That's my line.” Gojyo said. “I can't believe I could take your back this easily.”

You're right. Hakkai agreed. I was so lost in thought, I didn't even hear you coming. After they had a short conversation about his lifeline he asked: “...Did I wake you up?”

“Um... well.... Actually... I thought I would observe your depressed face.” Gojyo replied, making it clear that he knew what was going on.

Hakkai was upset by the revelation, but not surprised. Gojyo was concerned for him, and Hakkai hated to be the source of that concern. “May I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“Three years ago... why did you save me that time?” He knew that Gojyo once had a similar loss, but at the time they were complete strangers. “If you would've just left me there I would have died on the road. ...Me, who maybe should've died that way.”

Now it was Gojyo's turn to be upset. It really hurt him when Hakkai started to talk like this. “I'm not going to tell a guy who asks me that way.”

“I knew it. Haha Ha.” Hakkai replied. He wasn't sure what kind of answer he was really expecting.

“...Anyways, don't try to think too hard.” Gojyo warned. “You'll go bald someday.”

“Ah! I wouldn't want that!!”

“See? Sanzo might be hiding it, but the curved part is kind of...” They were interrupted by a rustling sound in the grass. A little wooden doll walked out of the trees, holding something in it's hands.

“A... A doll? In this place?” Gojyo said.

“Hello!” The doll said, in a badly deteriorated mechanical tone. “Hello, murderer Cho Gonou!!”

Hakkai's eyes widened at the sound of those words. He spotted the mah-jhong tile it was holding and immediately thought: CHIN YISO!

“Wh...Why does he know Hakkai's old name...?” Gojyo asked.

“Was the fresh blood warmer than the woman's skin?” The sadistic doll asked, conjuring up images of the crimson liquid covering his hands. “Or was it sweet-smelling like an orchid?” Hakkai stared down at the thing in horror. “You seem to have forgotten about it, so I'll help you remember!” Even now, there was no way Hakkai could ever forget. “There's no place for you to relax! Because... you are a sinful person.”

“I understand what you are saying.” Hakkai interrupted. “But if you have business with me...” His soft, apologetic tone ended there, replaced with a loud voice and an angry glare. “WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT AND TALK?”

“Yes. That's the face... Cho Gonou.” The doll said. “That's your true face!!”

“YOU, PIECE OF...!!” Gojyo yelled, kicking the thing hard enough to send it flying. “...FUCK YOU. PIECE OF SHIT!! We're going back to the jeep, Hakkai! It's better not to take any individual actions!”

“Yes.” Hakkai agreed. They were both turning around to leave when he looked back at the thing and saw it getting ready to shoot something from it's mouth. “GOJYO, WATCH OUT...!!”

“Eh?” Gojyo said. He turned around an the thing pierced his chest. “What...?”

“GOJYO!!” Hakkai cried, he was paralyzed with fear. At that moment, he almost felt as though something had pierced his heart as well. With a stricken expression on his face, he ran to where Gojyo was lying on the ground. He didn't know what he'd do if anything happened to him.

“Hakkai!!” Sanzo's voice yelled from a few yards away. “What happened?”

Hakkai turned to find Sanzo and Goku running toward them. “Gojyo has...”

He was interrupted by the sounds of Gojyo struggling. The group watched in horror as something darkened his veins and made them pop out of his skin. Goku asked what was going on, but the other two were too stunned to say a word. Gojyo cried painfully, as it spread all over his body. “Crap... something... something's crawling around in my veins...!!”

“What's going on?!” Sanzo angrily demanded.

“It's a seed!!” The little wooden toy happily exclaimed. “I've implanted a seed in that guy's body! It's a seed that sucks blood and grows roots in the veins!”

“...What's that thing?” Goku asked, referring to the doll.

“It's Chin Yiso's messenger.” Hakkai replied.

“So it's that bastard.” Sanzo said, not at all surprised by the fact.

“If you don't hurry up and kill that seed, that guy'll become one of the trees in the forest. Or maybe that's better because it's ecological!” The possessed toy said. “Oh yeah, I'll say this for just in case. I've implanted the seed right next to that guy's heart.” For the second time that night, Hakkai broke into a cold sweat. He knew that Gojyo would die if they didn't remove the thing, but with it so close to his heart, he might also die if they did.

“...Bastard.” Sanzo said, getting severely pissed. Trying to take advantage of Hakkai by doing this to someone he cares for. “What's your purpose?”

The sadistic little thing laughed gleefully and said: “It's so much fun... It's so much fun, Cho Gonou!! You should hurry up and come over here too!!” That was when Sanzo pulled out his gun and shot the damn thing's head off.

“Sanzo...” Hakkai said, with a frown on his face. What good does that do?

I see... Sanzo thought, considering the toy's words and the situation at hand. There was only one way he could think of to accurately remove the seed from Gojyo's body. ...so that's the case. He really didn't want to have to do this in front of Hakkai, but he didn't have any choice. “He has a good scheme, that fuckin' bastard!” What he hated even more, was playing into someone else's hands. “Goku! Hold down Gojyo's arm!!”

“Eh? Yeah?” Goku asked, pinning down the arm while wondering why Sanzo wanted him to do that.

“...Are you satisfied? Chin Yiso, THIS IS YOUR FUCKIN' DESIRE, RIGHT?!!” he yelled, aiming the gun down at Gojyo's chest.

“Wha... Sanzo?!” Goku complained.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!” Hakkai cried, momentarily wondering if the trigger-happy monk had completely lost it. “PLEASE WAIT! The target's too small... Besides, even if you're able to shoot through the seed, the shock to his heart will...”

“Hakkai.” Sanzo said, in a calm, soothing voice, hoping to talk Hakkai out of this desperate frenzy he'd fallen into. “After I shoot, immediately close the wound. Be sure to hold him down, Goku.”

“No way. Are you serious?” Goku asked.

“I won't miss whatsoever. If he dies, it's because his heart was too weak.”

“I'M SO PISSED OFF!!” Gojyo yelled with a strained voice. “I WON'T DIE!!”

“If you don't shut up, you're going to bite your tongue.” Sanzo warned, in a neutral tone that was about as nice-sounding as his voice could get. Then he made the shot.

“GAHA!!” Gojyo cried, as the bullet went ripping through his chest.

“GOJYO!!” Hakkai yelled. Please... I can't lose you! It hurt him so much, but he had to concentrate in order to close the wound. He moved over to Gojyo's reclining form and worked as quickly as he could.

“Tsk...” Sanzo hissed. Standing back and watching Hakkai with an expression on his face that was half pissed that any of this was even happening and half worried that Gojyo might actually die.

“The wound's been closed.” Hakkai announced. “He's lost consciousness, but his heartbeat is normal.”

“This is bad for our hearts!!” Goku said.

“...It's my fault.” Hakkai said, getting up and turning around as thought he intended to walk away. I managed to save his life, but Gojyo still almost died because of me. Goku's scared... Sanzo's pissed off... all of our lives are threatened, because... “Chin Yiso's objective is clearly on me.”

“Stop it.” Sanzo commanded.

“BUT SANZO!!” Hakkai yelled.

“CALM DOWN!!” Sanzo countered. “If you lose your cool here, then you'll be playing right into his hands!!” When Hakkai realized that fact, that he was doing exactly what that man wanted him to do, it was just too much to handle. He completely blacked out. “HEY!” Sanzo cried, catching him just before he hit the ground. “...Bring some water, Goku!”

“Right!” Goku agreed, running off into the forest.

Sanzo laid him down on the ground, stopping to glance over at Gojyo's blood-stained shirt and then back over to Hakkai's exhausted face. “Guess you can't blame him... He hasn't been getting proper sleep these days.” Unfortunately, Sanzo realized that this was partly his fault. “DAMN IT!” he yelled, smashing into a tree with his fist. I suspect everything is right on Chin Yiso's plan. He already knew that the seed was planted next to Gojyo's heart for the sole purpose of making him shoot Gojyo in front of Hakkai. I don't know the reason why Chin Yiso's hatred was born... but what is clear is that he doesn't want to kill Hakkai, HE WANTS TO BREAK HIM.

Sanzo stood watch over his two unconscious companions, thinking to himself and waiting for Goku to get back with the water. The whole matter was awfully unsettling. He didn't care who this man was or what he was after, and quite honestly, he'd killed people for less. But this guy's obsessive hatred, along with the way he manipulated the situation and took advantage of the two weak idiots in order to get to Hakkai, was something that Sanzo couldn't stand at all. It made him want to take matters into his own hands and kill Chin Yiso himself, but if he did then there would be no way of knowing what the repercussions would be on Hakkai.

Then he sat down on the grass and lighted himself a smoke. I wonder why he chose to do it like this. Sanzo thought. Was Gojyo specifically targeted for a reason? Obviously, the bastard had to have been observing them at some point. Sanzo wondered if the vengeful old man had seen him shoot in Gojyo's general direction once after the kappa had made some annoying comment. If he had, he would've been sure to notice that it bothered Hakkai. “Cheap bastard...” Sanzo muttered. He was frustrated, pissed off, and on top of all that, Goku was taking forever to get water. Sanzo was really starting to worry, in spite of himself. Left all alone with a couple of half-dead guys. What a pain in the ass.

He sat there quietly, patiently smoking his cigarette and watching the other two, just to make sure that they were actually breathing. Time passed by slowly in the lifeless little clearing, and nothing happened. He was expecting some kind of further harrassment, but with Hakkai out cold it seemed that Chin Yiso would have to wait until he was conscious again to torment him. Still, Sanzo didn't like the idea of sitting around in the open like this, vulnerable to any attack that might come. He quietly waited for what he thought seemed like hours in the impenetrable quiet of that forest. Combined with the monkey's absence, the silence was slowly grating on his nerves. Eventually he climbed to his feet, walked a few feet away from his slumbering friends, and started calling out to that stupid monkey. “HEY! GOKU! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! BAKA SARU!! Bring back the water already!”

“Unf... shut up.” Gojyo groaned. “As if this pain in my chest's not enough, you're giving me a fuckin' headache! What the hell's going on?”

Sanzo walked over to the annoying invalid with half a mind to stomp on that empty head of his... but looking at the blood-soaked shirt, he decided not to. “I can't find the idiot monkey.”

“Shit. Are you serious?” Gojyo asked, pushing himself up to a sitting position. “What the hell happened? Hey... where's Hakkai?”

“He passed out after treating you.” Sanzo said, looking over at the brunet slumbering nearby.

“Son of a....” Gojyo said, looking over at him. “Hakkai...” why'd you go and do something like that?

“I told Goku to go get some water... several hours ago.”

“Shit.” Gojyo said, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket. “Ya don't think...?”

“He won't die that easily.” Sanzo replied. “But... we can't just stay here.”

“Fine.” Gojyo said. “You go look for the monkey and I'll watch over basket case.”

Without another word, Sanzo disappeared into the trees. While he was gone Gojyo sat and smoked, keeping an eye on Hakkai. Words couldn't really express how worried he was at this point. He hated the way that Chin Yiso treated Hakkai, he hated being used as a pawn to hurt him, and above all, he hated to see Hakkai suffer like this. No matter how much you blame yourself, you really don't deserve this, Hakkai. It made Gojyo so angry, he really wanted nothing more than to kill that bastard for what he'd done. Eventually Sanzo came back, but Goku wasn't with him. All he had was some of the supplies from the jeep. “Hakuryu is gone, and I didn't find the canteen that we had the water in.”

“Shit.” Gojyo cursed. Well, at least the baka saru's not alone.

“Whatever happened, it looks like we're on our own for now.... We shouldn't stay here.” Sanzo said, knowing that Chin Yiso would probably come looking for them eventually.

“Yeah, but...” Gojyo agreed, looking down at Hakkai's unconscious form.

“Here, carry the supplies!” Sanzo said. He shoved the pack full of items into Gojyo's hands.

“Damn it!” Gojyo cursed. “Ya fuckin' prick!” He really wanted to carry Hakkai, but he knew that in his current state it would be foolish to even try it. He pushed himself to his feet and then lifted the pack over his shoulder, but the exertion caused a sharp, stabbing pain in his chest. “A-AHHHH!” he cried, barely getting it strapped to his back without dropping it.

Sanzo bent over Hakkai's still form and carefully slid his arms underneath, lifting him up to his chest. “I think that I saw a cliff just a short ways back in the direction we came from.” he said. “Maybe if we're lucky we can find some kind of shelter.” he added, staring off in the general direction.

“Fine.” Gojyo agreed, taking a deep breath and following after them. Although the pain was still there, it wasn't as sharp as it had been at first. They walked and walked for minutes on end, but a thick fog was rolling in and the minutes passed like hours. Gojyo stared ahead at the others, watching each careful step the monk took with Hakkai cradled gently in his arms. That should be me, he thought. After all Hakkai just saved my life, the least I could do is carry him someplace safe. Then the wound inside his chest throbbed, and he almost stumbled on his own two feet. “GAH!”

“You alright?” Sanzo asked, glancing over his shoulder.

“I'm fine!” Gojyo insisted. “How much farther is this thing?”

“I can see something up ahead, just a little bit farther.” Sanzo answered. They walked several dozen yards and came to a wall of rock. “Along this edge... there's got to be a cave... somewhere.” Sanzo said, panting heavily as he turned and walked beside the ledge.

“You sound... like you're getting a little winded there.” Gojyo teased. “Sanzo-sama.”

“Sh-Shut up!” Sanzo barked. “You wheezing kappa!”

Hakkai probably is a lot heavier then him. Gojyo thought.

“There!” Sanzo said, spotting a recess in the never-ending wall before them. They both walked in to the the cave and stopped to catch their breath. “Hey, useless water sprite! Why don't you- put down some blankets... for your 'partner'?”

“You... bastard.” Gojyo mumbled, unpacking some of the supplies and tossing them around until he got to the bedding. Then he found the flattest patch of ground in the place and spread out a blanket, several sheets, and even rolled one up to act as a pillow. There, that's the least I can do. “You can come set him down now.”

Sanzo walked over and carefully laid Hakkai down on the sheets, and then he went to go sit and have a smoke. Gojyo pulled the blankets up over his lover's body and gently tucked him in. Then he took the monocle and the green band over Hakkai's forehead off and set them to the side. “Hey Sanzo... ya don't think that guy was coming after me because-?”

“I don't think so.” Sanzo said. “That guy was more interested in Hakkai's past than he is in his present. I doubt he's been watching any longer than the moment we stepped into town today.”

“Still... the last person Hakkai lost was his lover. Isn't it... a really big coincidence or what?”

“Either way, it doesn't matter. Whether he knows the full story about what's going on between the two of you or not, he's still going to assault anyone who is close enough to Hakkai that losing that person would hurt him. So, don't get all bent out of shape.”

“Tch... like this isn't affecting you, Mr. High-and-mighty monk!” Gojyo said, then he did his best Sanzo impression and added: ““How dare you do this! I saved him, and his life is mine!” I bet that's what you're thinking!”

Sanzo wanted to pull out his gun and fire at the smart-ass, but then he thought of something better. “You're just afraid that he won't be around to warm your bed when your pathetic attempts to hit on women fail!”

“Why you son-of-a-!!” Gojyo began, he leapt to his feet with such sudden force that a stabbing pain ripped through his chest again. “AAAAH-AH!” He took a few staggering steps and then fell back onto the floor. Sanzo got up and walked out of the cave. “Where're you-? Hey!” Gojyo called. “Get your pansy ass back here! I'm not done with you!” He pulled himself back to his feet and took a few steps toward the cave's mouth before Sanzo replied.

“I'm going to look for the monkey.”

“Like hell!” Gojyo argued. “You can't just leave Hakkai here like that!”

“I'm not leaving him here alone.” Sanzo said, walking up to Gojyo and giving him a light punch in the stomach.

“AHH!” Gojyo cried, falling on his ass again.

“You're going to stay with him, you invalid. You could use the rest as well.”

“You- bastard...!”

“Sit down, shut up, and keep an eye on your boyfriend!”

“Ya fuckin' prick.” Gojyo said, watching the obnoxious priest disappear into the fog.

It wasn't that he minded being left to watch Hakkai, but if Chin Yiso showed up, then he wouldn't really be of much help. However, Sanzo had a point. He wouldn't be able to do anything until he had some rest. So he crawled over to where Hakkai was laying on the blankets and curled up next to him on the floor. He passed out for what must have been hours, but woke up feeling much better. He got up and stretched without any problem, then he walked out to the mouth of the cave and had a few smokes. After that he went and knelt back down by Hakkai's bedside for awhile. He was there when Sanzo finally returned: speechless, hopeless, and empty-handed. “How is Hakkai?” he asked.

“He's fine. He's been out all this time.” Gojyo replied, looking over the peacefully slumbering man. “Ya know... when I found him standing out there in the trees, he was looking at his hands and saying something about all the people he killed.” He reminisced. “It reminds me of that night a long time ago. After the first time I kissed him, he said something to me about how he could never hold anyone with those blood-stained hands again. Then I said: “How 'bout I hold you with my hands instead?”” Gojyo smirked at the memory.

“Pervert.” Sanzo accused. “Now it's your turn... go look for the damn monkey!”