InsaneJournal

Current mood:

accomplished

Constrained Desire, Ch .14
Title: Yearning
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairings: 383 (Sanzo x Hakkai) and 858 (Hakkai x Gojyo)
Summary: Hakkai angsts hard over Sanzo, then Gojyo arrives to make it all better.
Rating: NC 17
Notes: All comments and critiques are welcomed and cherished. <3

Hakkai quietly shut the door, walking across the hall toward his own. After the conversation he'd just had with Sanzo, he didn't know what to think. It's not fair... he complained. Hearing Sanzo say that his expectations had been exceeded made Hakkai want things that he knew he shouldn't. You were really... saying that you're proud of me? The realization left him feeling hollow somehow. Considering all the effort he put into his life, just trying to live in a way that others could be proud of him, he'd already given it his all. Even at my best, it's not enough. Yet, Sanzo complimented him on what he had done. What a cruel thing to say, he thought, making me want you... even though you're only going to push me away.

After walking into his room he shut the door behind him and then leaned against it, slowly sinking down until his legs folded over and his butt rested on the floor. Even though I expected him to reject me, I didn't expect him to be so frank about it. Although, he wasn't sure what he had expected. Maybe I expected him to be angry, emotional, affected by it somehow. Not so cold and rational. When he thought about it, it was funny. Did I actually expect Sanzo to care? “Aha... ha ha ha ha ha... HAHAHAHAHA!”

Hakkai laughed hysterically at himself for a few minutes, and then buried his face in his hands. This is so meaningless... he thought. There's really no point in caring for someone who can dismiss me so effortlessly. On the other hand, he couldn't complain. He really hadn't expected anything more. In fact, he'd been prepared for much worse. As it turned out... he said exactly what I knew he was going to say, Hakkai realized. Even though Sanzo made it clear that he couldn't return Hakkai's feelings, he also insisted that it was something he couldn't do for anyone. Maybe I shouldn't be taking this so personally?

Looking back on the incident, he could tell that Sanzo had been trying to spare his feelings, in his own way. This is truly... pathetic. Of course, he was really thinking that about himself more than the situation. He couldn't help but wonder if it really was wrong for him to be attracted to Sanzo to begin with. It felt very wrong to him for some reason, which was saying something coming from a man who had no regrets about sleeping with his best friend or falling in love with his twin sister. I'm emotionally desperate and insecure, he accused himself. Am I really so depraved that I can't get close to anyone without falling in love with them? In a way, Hakkai felt as though he were taking advantage of all the people he'd ever loved, using them to satiate his incomprehensible need for love and affection.

First there was her, his own flesh and blood. Gonou had felt a little guilty even though the attraction had been mutual. He could still remember the sound of her soft, lilting voice as she had reassured him that what they were doing wasn't wrong. As desperate for affection as he'd been, he had believed her. He'd trusted her.

The way Hakkai felt about Gojyo was desperate in a different way. When they had first become intimate he had still been too attached to Kanan to be in love with anyone else. He'd allowed himself to be seduced because he needed to feel that his life was worth something to someone, not because he cared about Gojyo. Even though things had changed greatly since then, he was guilty of using Gojyo as a means to satiate his own emotional desperation in the first place. Gojyo never seemed to mind, but Hakkai still couldn't refrain from blaming himself. It was a horrible thing I did, taking advantage of your kindness. He still felt guilty.

In light of his past, Hakkai thought that being attracted to Sanzo made the most sense. The fact that he was a priest who was forbidden to have such relationships was inconsequential given his general disdain for the actual tenets of his faith. He didn't heed any of their teachings, as evidenced by his smoking, drinking, and murderous inclinations. Unlike the others, Hakkai didn't feel there was any way he could take advantage of Sanzo, even if he wished to. Kanan could be easily cast as the victim of his incestuous desires, Gojyo as the object of his consuming need for approval and companionship, but Sanzo would simply not allow any doubt that he would ever allow himself to be compromised for anyone else's benefit.

For once in his life, Hakkai felt as though he wanted someone for all the right reasons. To share his life with someone, to grow stronger as an individual, and to satisfy someone else's desire for companionship for once, instead of only thinking of himself. Only, he wasn't sure that Sanzo actually wanted those desires to be satisfied. He was certain that they were there; he could read between the lines of Sanzo's obvious discomfort with intimacy quite easily. However, Sanzo didn't seem ready for anything like that. Even though he didn't want to admit it, Hakkai know that Sanzo didn't want that kind of relationship. The fact that he did want it made Hakkai feel guilty and selfish all over again.

He reasoned that it was because his feelings were unrequited. Somehow the guilt he felt over loving his sister had been banished by the pleasure of holding her in his arms and the worry over Gojyo vanished in the warmth of his body, the tenderness of his reassuring kisses. With Sanzo, he had no such form of comfort. If only I could kiss him, just once... Hakkai thought, wondering what it would be like to softly press those lips against his own. ...even if only for the briefest moment. The need he felt for it was consuming, the likes of which he'd only ever felt once before in his life. For her. Knowing this, he couldn't deny it any longer even if he wished to.

Hakkai decided that he should admit the truth to himself, at the very least. He could now admit how much he wanted this; to touch Sanzo, who didn't want anyone else to touch him, to feel the sensation of those lips that had never been kissed, to hold in his arms the one who simply wouldn't allow himself to be held. Hakkai wanted all of it, even if it was completely and utterly out of reach. I'm such a fool.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Then the door swung open, slamming into his back. “Ahh!”

“Hey!” Gojyo's voice drifted in through the crack. “Hakkai! What're you doin' slouched against the door like that?”

“I'm sorry,” Hakkai answered, crawling away from the door.

Gojyo walked in, closed the door behind him, and then knelt down on the floor next to Hakkai. “So, he... rejected you?” The way he said it, it wasn't really a question. He hadn't really expected anything different from that anti-social bastard.

“Yes,” Hakkai admitted, hanging his head. “It's so strange, Gojyo. I really had assumed that he would be more angry with me.”

“He wasn't angry?”

“Well, he was upset when I first told him...” Hakkai paused for a minute, thinking over the way Sanzo had reacted to the news. He was flustered and embarrassed. Both of which were emotions that greatly frustrated Sanzo, “...but, he wasn't really angry.”

Gojyo didn't understand why Hakkai said it like he was disappointed. “If Sanzo's not angry at you... then, that's a good thing, right?”

It only took a fraction of a second for Hakkai to realize that Gojyo was right. “Yes,” he replied, feeling foolish again. He truly envied the simple, straightforward way that Gojyo's mind worked. It was so pure and uncomplicated when compared with his own tortuous way of thinking. The labyrinthine maze of thoughts in his head was such a burden at times, yet Gojyo was there with his soft words and kind gestures which silenced his tumultuous train of thought.

Gojyo could tell that Hakkai was taking this rejection thing hard, and really he wasn't surprised. What surprised him was how serious Hakkai had been throughout the whole day, as though being attracted to Sanzo were some dire offense. He didn't see any problem with it himself, but then again he realized that things were different for him. Sanzo hadn't saved his life, and he didn't have the mental capacity for all the complicated nuances shared by the other two. Ultimately Gojyo and the shitty priest owed each other nothing, and it was best kept that way. Although, he admitted that he did envy the closeness of their friendship at times.

I wish I was that deep, Gojyo thought, for what must've been the thousandth time. I wish I could say witty things and get into Hakkai's head, forcing him to stop blaming himself. However, he knew that he wasn't an intellectual, and he never would be. That's okay, though. I've got my own way of doin' things. “Ya shouldn't worry about it so much. After all it's not something you can change, right?”

“I wonder...” Hakkai thought out loud. Is it possible for me to change the way I feel? It seemed appealing for a minute, to think that he could simply shove everything he felt back into whatever cold, dark corner of his soul it had come from in the first place. It would be nice to no longer feel the tinge of regret that came with the sharp, stinging guilt he felt over this, not to mention the sorrow of having those feelings unrequited. He wanted so much to go back to being blissfully unaware that he'd ever had the slightest inclination to ever be anything more than friends with Sanzo, but he didn't think there was any way he could possibly do it. “...probably not.”

“There's nothin' wrong with it, ya know,” Gojyo playfully argued. “Like I said, I've been wanting to fuck that sexy bastard ever since the day I met 'im. He's always slapping me away, hittin' me with his paper fan, an' calling me an idiot or a pervert... but it's okay. I wouldn't want anybody who was unwillin' anyway.”

“It's not like that for me,” Hakkai said, wishing that he could explain it in words. His attraction to Sanzo wasn't that shallow. Not that he meant to belittle Gojyo's feelings at all, he really didn't. It was just that Sanzo was important to him, and not only because of the way he'd saved him, either. Gojyo probably thought that was the reason, but really it was so much more than that. There is something I admire greatly about Sanzo, something I've always admired. Hakkai wondered if maybe it was the way Sanzo had of inspiring people with his teachings, whether he actually meant to or not. Or perhaps it was the kindness afforded others, even if he didn't like to make it known.

Then he realized that it wasn't really either of those things. It was the inexplicable way in which Sanzo saw through to the heart of most situations. He didn't allow himself to get caught up in meaningless details or any of the various distractions in life. No matter what happened, he didn't allow anything to cloud his vision or obscure his sense of judgment. Because of this intense focus, he never failed to do whatever was necessary to reach his goal. I wish I could be like that, Hakkai thought, reminded of his own weaknesses. I want to have that strength for myself. There had been many times in the past when he'd failed to act because he had in some way allowed his own doubts to cloud his mind. If only I could see with those eyes... he thought. After all, if it weren't for that piercing gaze which seemed to penetrate his very soul, he really wouldn't even be alive.

“It's still pretty hot to think about being with someone who's never even been touched that way before,” Gojyo said. “Am I right?”

The question completely derailed Hakkai's train of thought. What was that? It was strange, almost as though Gojyo had somehow guessed at something he'd been thinking earlier. However, it wasn't merely the physical aspect that appealed to Hakkai. Obviously Gojyo was only thinking about being the first person in bed with Sanzo. What Hakkai wanted was to be the first person to elicit affection from him, something which would be incrementally more difficult than simply drawing out a physical response. Although, Sanzo really didn't seem to want either of the two.

I want to put an end to that loneliness... Hakkai thought, realizing that in some way he was equating Sanzo's feelings now with his own in the past. After being abandoned by his mother and left to the care of strangers, he had wanted nothing to do with any of the other children in the orphanage. When Sanzo lost the only man he thought of as a father, hadn't it been the same? ...because I know what it's like to be alone. Although Kanan had been the one bright spot in his darkness, Sanzo didn't have anything quite like that. I want to love you because I know what it's like to be loved. I want to share this with you. Still he felt selfish for wanting this so badly when Sanzo clearly didn't even want it for himself. Is this self-conceit?

“Hakkai,” Gojyo called, knowing from the look on his friend's that he was lost in his own little world again. It never ceased to amaze him how seriously Hakkai was taking this. Looking at the solemn expression on his face, along with the deep shadows in those vibrant green eyes, he couldn't help but be struck by the sincerity of it. Maybe Hakkai wasn't even sure how he felt, but Gojyo could see it in his eyes. Even though I know you won't admit it out loud, you really do love that guy, don't ya?

“I'm sorry,” Hakkai said, finally reacting to the sound of his own name. “Did you say something?”

“Yeah,” Gojyo replied, bending down to kiss those lips pursed with worry. “I said: It's gonna be okay.” He gently pushed Hakkai down until his back hit the floor, and then started peppering the side of his face with soft, butterfly kisses.

“I'm afraid I'd make a fairly inept lover at this point in time,” Hakkai warned, judging himself much too distracted to do an adequate job of anything.

“Nah, you're always good in bed, 'Kai,” Gojyo reassured him. Before there were any further complaints he covered those slightly parted lips with his mouth, gently prodding with his tongue. He rested his weight on top of Hakkai's body, and started rubbing up against his crotch.

“Speaking of bed... shouldn't we be in it?”

“We don't really -need- to be in the bed,” Gojyo whispered sweetly in his ear, covering the sensitive surface with the warmth of his breath. “We could just do it here, on the floor.”

“I'd rather not.”

“Aw, come on 'Kai... you're no fun.”

“Very well.” Hakkai sighed in resignation, allowing Gojyo to continue. He simply didn't have the energy to argue at this point. He laid still against the hard, wooden floor while Gojyo's mouth sucked at his neck and those fingers trailed over his chest. In spite of all his protesting, a part of him really wanted to be able to drown out all of his problems in his lover's arms. Ultimately it wouldn't solve anything; he knew he would still have to confront the same problems in the morning. But at least for a moment it would take his mind off of all the things that were troubling him and make him feel that he was loved.

Gojyo's hands moved softly over his body, caressing him through the fabric of his clothing and then removing it. Hakkai closed his eyes and savored the feel of that caring, sensual touch, but after a while he realized that something was abnormal. Gojyo didn't usually move so slowly for that long. It wasn't uncommon for him to act that way for a moment or two, but he typically sped up after that. “What are you doing?”

Gojyo chuckled to himself. What a silly question. He thought the answer should be obvious. “You.”

“Gojyo.... that's not what I meant.”

“Jus' shut up an' let me love ya, okay?”

“Y-Yes,” Hakkai answered, with a surprised look on his face. He doesn't usually use that term... Gojyo was usually quite fond of the 'F' word, which was something that Hakkai found annoying but he wasn't one to complain. In fact, he could barely even remember how long it had been since the last time he'd heard Gojyo refer to this particular activity as “love”. Why are you acting like this now?

Gojyo couldn't stand seeing Hakkai miserable like this. For some reason there was nothing sadder to him than seeing sorrow in those deep green eyes. All the fake smiles in the world couldn't hide it, and watching Hakkai smile that way in order to hide his pain only made Gojyo feel even worse. From the first time he had ever seen that look he'd thought: It's a shame to see that much suffering on such a pretty face. He wanted to wipe it all away and replace it with a real smile, if such a thing were even possible. At times he said to himself: If only I could see him smile... a real smile, the kind that comes straight from the heart... then maybe I could smile that way, too.

Gojyo didn't always understand why he felt the way he did, but at least he knew how he felt. Hakkai always seemed to need some kind of reason, but reasons didn't really matter to Gojyo. What difference does it make why you love someone? As long as you love them... isn't that enough? It was simple, at least to him. Even though he didn't understand all of Hakkai's complicated feelings, there was one thing he knew: he knew that Hakkai needed him right now. That was all that mattered.

Hakkai had been acting disturbed all day, and that was part of the reason Gojyo had decided to do things differently this time. Just for you, I want to do it the way you like it. Gojyo thought. I'll go nice and slow, because I know that's what you want. His lips kissed up and down Hakkai's neck and over the side of his face while his hands lavished their affection on the pale, silken skin beneath him. He stopped periodically to shrug out of his vest, pull his shirt over his head, and undo his pants. In taking his own clothes off, he saved Hakkai the trouble. Gojyo didn't want Hakkai to worry about anything, or even think about anything. He wanted him to simply lay there and let someone else take care of him for a change.

His lips sought out his lover's mouth and kissed him deeply, slowly, carefully, making his true intentions known. He shimmied out of his pants and then laid back down, stretching his body over Hakkai from head to toe. The amorous touch of that soft skin was all along his body, except for the hardness prodding into his groin. It felt so good, he couldn't help but buck his own growing erection into those hips. Then he used his knees to pry open Hakkai's legs while his mouth drifted down to suck on his neck again. Hakkai moaned wantonly, shifting around underneath him.

He understood what Gojyo was trying to do, and it really was touching. Hakkai hadn't expected anything like that, and for some reason he felt like he didn't deserve it. I'm so distracted right now, I can't possibly be any good. But Gojyo was always there for him, comforting him whenever he felt sad or lonely. I feel guilty, laying all my troubles on him like this. Even though he knew that Gojyo wanted to be there for him, he really felt that his lover deserved much better. You shouldn't have to worry about all of the stressful things going on between me and Sanzo. As those gentle hands drifted over his body, the feeling only got worse. Normally he would love something like this, but at this point it gave him too much time to think.

It made him wish that Gojyo would take him roughly, like he usually did. He wanted those hands clinging desperately to his body, wracking his mind with their provocative caress. He wanted that cock thick and hot inside him, thrusting into his body so fast that he could scarcely remember his own name any more. He wanted to be taken so hard that all thoughts were wiped from his mind, so forcefully that it made his whole body throb in ecstasy. Even if he was sore afterward, he really didn't care. But, isn't it insensitive of me to want something like that right now... he thought, while Gojyo is making an effort to hold me so lovingly?

Gojyo moved farther down over Hakkai's body and started licking up and down his chest, leaving a slippery trail of saliva in his wake. Hakkai moaned as the warm liquid cooled in the night air and Gojyo's mouth surrounded one of his nipples with its thick, persistent heat. That's right, Gojyo thought. He could tell now that Hakkai was starting to become distracted by something other than his thoughts. I'm gonna make you feel so good... you're gonna forget all about that guy. Even if it's just for a little while. He took his time, licking and sucking delicately at the sensitive nub in his mouth, drawing breathless moans from his lover's throat.

Hakkai's hand came up to shift carelessly through crimson locks of hair. It really was getting to the point where he really couldn't think of anything anymore, except the feel of that heated mouth wandering all over his body. Then Gojyo moved to the side and gave the other nipple the same treatment, bathing it in feverish moisture until raised up and hardened against his tongue. Hakkai's hips shifted underneath him, thrusting desperately into his belly. Gojyo smirked to himself. It wasn't like Hakkai to be so hasty. He must want this really bad, Gojyo thought, licking his way down his chest and over his abs. He stuck his tongue into Hakkai's navel, slipping it in and out of the shallow depression.

“Ah ha ha ha,” Hakkai laughed. It always tickled a little when Gojyo did that.

“You taste good, 'Kai,” Gojyo said in a deep, sultry voice while staring unabashedly at his lover's face. Then he crept down lower until the head of that had cock was right in front of his face. “Makes me wanna taste more of ya.” He loved to watch the embarrassed look on that flushed face as he slowly opened his mouth and took it in, sucking on that swollen head and stroking it with his tongue.

Really, Gojyo... Hakkai thought, it's not as though you haven't already tasted me hundreds of times. Then he was arching his back into the bed while the tip of his member was engulfed in the sweltering heat of that soft, succulent mouth. “Ahhh! Go-Gojyo!” he protested while the carnal caress of that tongue teased the sensitive spot just under his head, making his entire length throb in agonizing desire for more. His hips bucked gently into that mouth. Please... more!

Gojyo slowly descended over the quivering erection, keeping his tongue tight against the hardened shaft. He sucked up and down that sensuous skin, listening intently for the hushed, wanton groans that Hakkai wasn't able to completely contain. Then he pulled back, allowing it to drop out of his mouth.

“Gojyo!” Hakkai complained, upset that he had stopped right when it was starting to feel really good. He started to lift his head so that he could see what Gojyo was up to, but before he could get it off the ground he felt a warm tingling sensation wrap around one of his balls. “Ah-a!” he cried, startled by the sensation as it pulled him further into its thick, sensual heat. He's... sucking on my.... Suddenly he was dropped out of that mouth and back into the cold again.

“Hey! Lay down and relax, okay?” Gojyo demanded. “I can't do this while you're wigglin', so keep your head on the floor and, um...” he paused for a moment, feeling just a little embarrassed. “...put your legs in the air for me, wouldja?”

“Oh... a-alright,” Hakkai replied, resting his head on the ground and lifting his legs. He felt the rough skin of Gojyo's hands around the underside of his thighs as they were pushed down and folded against his body.

“Keep 'em like that, yeah?”

“Yes.”

Then Hakkai felt the balmy, moist texture of that tongue lapping at his scrotum. His cock twitched in arousal as the testicle on the left was sucked deeper into that searing heat.

Gojyo twirled this tongue around the soft, sultry flesh in his mouth, relishing the quiet moans coming from his lover's throat. He loved driving Hakkai crazy like this, just as much as he loved the bittersweet taste of that skin in his mouth. What he'd said earlier wasn't just a pick-up-line: Hakkai really did taste good. He couldn't resist suckling those delicate little orbs in and out of his mouth. After just enough time had passed to get his lover excited, Gojyo let them go and traveled downward, sliding in between those cheeks to tickle the puckered opening with his tongue.

“Gah!” Hakkai cried, squirming in spite of himself. “Gojyo!”

Damn, now he's gonna start bitching.

“That's so dirty!”

“You keep your body so clean I could eat out of it, Hakkai.”

“But, Gojyo...” he whined. “Even when it's clean there are bacteria down there, and... I hate it when you do this. It's embarrassing!”

“Shut up, you know you like it.” Gojyo said, and to prove it he went back down there and licked at the twitching entrance before piercing it with his tongue. He was rewarded with a rough, wobbly moan from the back of his lover's throat. Told ya so. Gojyo thought, sticking his tongue out into the soft, supple flesh. You're too high-strung, ya know that? He didn't know how many times he'd told Hakkai that it was fine. It just tastes like skin, that's all. Hot, silky skin... over firm, clenching muscle. Mm, that tastes good! His tongue lapped hungrily at the clenching hole, waiting until those muscles were relaxed to dig in deeper again.

“Ah! Oh!” Hakkai cried, shifting around uncomfortably as that tongue teased and tormented that sensitive area. “Nn... Gaaah!”

All those passionate little sounds were music to Gojyo's ears. That's right... It made him want go faster, moving his tongue in deeper to devour every last inch of that luscious body. I'm... eating your ass, Hakkai! How do you like that?

“Unf! Uwaaa!” Hakkai gasped. That touch was so provocatively warm and wet, his body ached for more of it even as his cock throbbed from lack of attention. He started rocking his hips desperately in an effort to get that thing deeper into his body. “Ha-ah! G-Gojyo!”

Yeah... you like that, don't ya? Gojyo thought, flicking his tongue into that searing heat a few more times before he finally stopped and got back up on his knees. He glanced over his lover's body while his hand fished through the crumpled pants at his feet, searching for the pocket he'd left the condom in earlier that day. Hakkai really was a sight to behold. His face was flushed and his mouth was agape, panting for air. Those lake-green eyes were dark with passion, and it looked as though every muscle in his body was clenched. A fine layer of sweat lined his pale skin as well, making it shine in the moonlight. Beautiful. I really wish you could see how amazing you look right now.

Fingers finally closed around crinkling plastic and he pulled it out of the pocket, quickly unwrapping the thing and rolling it over his cock. How could anybody ever turn you down? he wondered, glancing back into that emerald green. That bastard monk doesn't even know what he's missin'. Then he fumbled around some more, searching for the small bottle of lube he kept tucked away in the other pocket. Even though he'd slobbered all over everything and his condom was lubricated, he wanted to make sure that this went as smoothly as possible. Besides, I like my guys wet. It didn't take him more than a second to find it and he snapped the cap open without delay, dispensing a bit of the cool liquid onto his fingers. He pushed a fingertip into that quivering opening, making sure the area was saturated with lube before gently massaging the stuff deeper in.

“Gojyo, please...” Hakkai pleaded breathlessly. He was thankful that his lover was finally preparing him instead of just teasing like he had been earlier, but he really wanted things to go faster. His muscles squeezed around that finger, making the sensation more intense.

You're pretty impatient today, aren't ya? Gojyo thought. However, it wasn't the first time he'd seen Hakkai like this, all wanton and desperate. He loved it, really. Nothing turned him on more than having someone desire him like this. Wanting to please Hakkai as much as possible, he slid another finger into that burning flesh, between those tense muscles. He curved both fingers up to hit the prostate, drawing satisfied moans from his lover's lips. After prodding the sensitive area for a bit longer, he started thrusting his fingers in and out of that hole, scissoring them apart as he pulled out.

Hakkai always looked forward to this part. The way those fingers reached in and perfectly hit that spot was tantalizing; it made him ache for something thicker to fill their place. He writhed against that touch for a minute, and then tried to relax as Gojyo's fingers stretched him open. Just when he'd decided he couldn't stand any more, the two digits slipped out of his body. Then he felt the swollen head of Gojyo's cock pressed against his entrance, slowly pushing in. “Ah, yes!” Hakkai held his breath as the thick shaft stretched him open, digging deep into his body and touching him in places that felt so good it made his head spin. Then he felt the rough skin of Gojyo's fingers wrap around his cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts.

Gojyo loved the euphoric look on Hakkai's face, the soft, passionate noises that slipped through his lips, and the firm contours of his lithe form. He kept stroking the hard erection in his hand and thrusting into the thick, encircling heat of Hakkai's body. It took a lot of effort to keep the pace slow and steady when he wanted so badly to speed up. Looking down at Hakkai's face, contorted in passion, he knew that it was all worthwhile. That's the kind of look I want to see, he thought, keeping a smooth, steady pace that made Hakkai's lips drop and his body tremble with desire.

Hakkai loved what Gojyo was doing to him now, but at the same time he was ready for more. He wanted it faster, harder, forcing his body to tighten and reach the peak of its pleasure. He wanted to release all the pent-up tension inside of him when he spewed hot come all over Gojyo's hand. He wanted the sheer intensity of his climax to wipe all the anxiety he felt away, so that he could finally relax and feel at peace. But he thought it rude to ask for something like that, so he kept his mouth shut and patiently savored that sweet, loving caress.

After gazing longingly down at his lover's face, Gojyo released the swollen erection from his hand so that he could bend down and touch his lips to Hakkai's neck. His mouth wandered up and down that stretch of pale skin, caressing the silky texture with his tongue. He traveled up the side right underneath Hakkai's jaw and back down over his Adam's apple, sucking softly at the hard protrusion. His cock felt so good, languidly thrusting in and out of Hakkai's body. He couldn't help but want more. “Hey, 'Kai, can I... go a little faster now?”

“Yes!” Hakkai exclaimed, surprising himself with the sense of urgency in his tone. He was usually able to show more restraint. Please just take me... take me hard, Gojyo! His thighs spread a little wider, inviting that long, intruding member to quicken its pace. His knees bent and the back of his shins slid against Gojyo's ass, pressing it down into his body.

Gojyo was more than happy to pick up the pace, slamming his dick into that soft, welcoming heat. He rocked into it faster and deeper, until the friction made his cock burn. His mind flooded with a sex-induced haze as he worked it in and out so hard that the floorboards creaked underneath them. “Fuck, Hakkai!” he breathed. Knowing that he wouldn't last much longer, he let one hand drop between Hakkai's legs and started vigorously stroking that heated length.

“G-Gojyo! HAAA!” Hakkai cried when that thick, torrid shaft started pounding into him. This was what he'd been waiting for the whole time. It felt incredible, filling and stretching him out as every last inch thrust into his body, hitting that spot inside of him that made everything burn and tremble in ecstasy. Then he felt the firm grasp of Gojyo's hand around his cock, pumping up and down in time with his thrusts. He couldn't escape the erotic sensation coming at him from both sides, forcing waves of pleasure to spread through his body until his muscles seized and time stood still.

Searing flesh clenched around Gojyo's burning cock, so hard that he could feel his balls tighten in response. He dimly heard the sound of Hakkai's voice screaming in pleasure and felt molten liquid spill over his hand before his body finally spasmed, releasing its heavy load. Everything down there throbbed and his head was swimming in a sated state of euphoria as he collapsed onto his lover's chest.

They laid there in a soggy, trembling mess, panting for air while their heads swam in a dizzying rush of gratification. Hakkai was the first to regain his lucidity and he insisted that Gojyo let him off the floor before his back became even more sore and painful than it already was. He stumbled into the bathroom, wiped himself off with a towel, and then collapsed on the bed. He was weak with overexertion and exhausted from the day he'd had. Normally he wold pull his pajamas on before going to sleep, but for once he simply wanted to eschew the formality so that he could lie down and pass out.

Gojyo pulled himself up from the floor, cleaned himself off, and put his clothes back on. He had to go back to his own room, after all, and he didn't even want to think about what had happened the last time someone had caught him running around the halls naked. After getting everything zipped and buttoned in place, he walked over to the side of Hakkai's bed. He was already all settled in, tucked comfortably underneath the blankets. Gojyo really couldn't even tell if he was still awake or not. It didn't matter, because he'd already decided to bend over and give him a quick kiss before going to bed. A soft moan rose from Hakkai's closed lips, but his eyes didn't open at all.

“Sweet dreams,” Gojyo said. Then he turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.